


Relations

by Sliceofmooncake (Aesoteric)



Category: Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Drabble, Gen, Humor, Interspecies Sex, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-04
Updated: 2015-11-04
Packaged: 2018-04-29 20:05:28
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 360
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5140823
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aesoteric/pseuds/Sliceofmooncake
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Basically an excuse for Iron Bull and Varric to make everybody laugh. Spoilers for Iron Bull's conversation after killing his first dragon. Originally on tumblr.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Relations

Iron Bull was in a mellow mood. Maryden was plunking away in a corner, the fire was keeping the worst of the cold away, and they’d all survived another Rift. He’d invited the others for a drink and despite what the Inquisitor had doubtlessly told them about Maraas-Lok a few had actually accepted.

“So, Bull, I’ve been hearing some interesting rumors concerning your ancestry.” 

“Oh?”

“Dragons?” Varric wriggled his eyebrows comically.

“It really was too good not to pass on.” The Inquisitor had the grace to look at least vaguely apologetic. Bull shrugged and took another swallow.

“It’s just a personal theory, and not as wild as some of the things I’ve seen.”

“How would that work, exactly?” 

“With the Qunari on top, obviously. Unless getting crushed is your thing. I don’t judge.”

Sera sprayed a mouthful of liquid and slumped over the table, laughing. Lightweight.

“You think you could get a female dragon to go for it?” Varric was looking incredulous and delighted at the same time.

“Oh, I don’t know; candles, love poetry, a few dozen dead druffalo--”

“Because nothing says romance like dead druffalo.” 

“--And a few healers standing by to make sure everyone survived.” Bull paused for effect. “Actually, aside from the druffalo, that’s not so different from how it usually goes.” 

“You--” Sera gasped for breath, “--are taking me to visit. Must.” She aimed the flagon for her mouth and missed, slopping Maraas-Lok on her shirt..

“Besides, who’s to say it wasn’t a rogue Tamassran who decided to spice up the bloodline?”

“You think one of your women hunted down and mated with a dragon?” Varric made an excellent straight man when the mood suited him. Bull appreciated that.

“You haven’t met our women. When they decide they want something, you don’t argue.”

“I’m just trying to imagine the look on the dragon’s face afterwards.” The Inquisitor’s cheeks were pink and she was snickering into her drink.

“ ‘What the hell was that?’ “ Varric mimed confusion, swaying in his chair. “ ‘ I feel so...used’.” 

The table erupted into general hilarity and no one could manage a serious thought until the next morning when the hangover hit.


End file.
